August 29, 2012

• Unorganized thoughts

  

  I stand before you
  truthful, exposed
  offering my all, to you
  my body, my heart
  rest in the palm of your hand
  please, please be gentle with me
  I cannot bear any more pain
  I’m torn, I’m mending, I’m hurting
  I’ve been trapped
  in the confines of my mind
  “trust NO one but SELF”
  has been my motto for
  so many years
  survival, instinct
  it’s kept me alive
  yet, now, i am drowning 
  no one sees,
  or cares to look that deeply
  I am fighting off
  closing my eyes to the world
  to everyone
  i don’t wish to see
  or hurt anymore
  no more pain
  no more anger
  the child within me 
  wants to be held 
  i want to feel safe, secure
  but is that really truly possible
  or am I just foolin’ myself again
  i look in the mirror 
  I curse this image,
  this existance of mine, 
  I don’t feel worthy
  I don’t feel beautiful 
  so many times I’ve cried out
  searching for a sign
  craving love and guidance
  many times cursing
  hating, the very essence of my life
  it always lands on deaf ears,
  a deaf ‘god’
  there’s never anyone there,
  anyone that’s true
  feeling like a pathetic
  nobody
  lip service, lip service,
  so tired of that shit
  it always ends the same
  i am always, always alone

  remove from me this curse I feel
  

  ~ born to suffer ~

  ~I’m a loser baby, so give up on me~

   

  • 8:13 pm
  • 3 Comments