September 2, 2012

  • Endless Love

    From about the age of 12, I lived with my Grandparents. First, with my Mom and Step-father, brother Jr. and sister Tina. My sister got married, my Mom got divorced, my Grandmother's health went down hill - she had Parkinson's Disease, and well, I ended up being raised by my Grandfather. I'll make the long story short ;)

    My fondest memories were sitting outside on the large porch during rainstorms just watching it rain and listening to my grandfather tell stories. I heard about the Depression, and what it was like for my Grandparents and others. I learned about life growing up for them. I learned all about how they met, and fell in love :)

    The following is from what I call "my files" it was written back in 2003, and dedicated to my Grandparents, Helena & Stanley Spencer. In poetic form, it tells their story of romance and love. Some of it was from things my Grandfather said after my Grandmother passed away, how everything in the house was "her" and it held her there. How sometimes he'd think he smelled her perfume. How empty his life seemed. I will never forget hearing the deep sobbing from him as he layed in his bed, just grieving, so fully, the loss of the love of his life...  I felt so hopeless, there wasn't any 'magical' thing I could do to help him, other than just cry with him in silence.

    I hope you enjoy..

    My Endless Love  

    It was years ago when we met, a dance at our school.
    I remember you standing there alone. I offered you a ride to your home.

    The next day I stopped by your place,
    I asked your parents if I could 'court' you.
    (After all, this was in the early 1900's)

    You were a beautiful woman to me,
    I never understood why you wanted me.
    We dated for a few years, each year I grew fonder of you.
    My Love for you was complete & true.

    I asked you to be my wife, my Love, and my partner for life.
    I was a proud, happy man, the day you said yes, and took my hand.

    Through our years, we loved, we grew, and bonded.
    You gave to me, two beautiful children. One boy, and one girl.

    You took care of our home, you loved, and nurtured our children.
    I worked hard, and I provided for you.

    Our children are full grown now, they have families of their own.

    I look at you, and I still see - that beautiful young woman,
    who chose to be with me.
    My sweet Love, I love you more with each passing year.

    We are labeled "senior citizens" now.
    I still feel like I could do anything for you.
    My love, you are now a part of me, we are one,
    and I am still completely in love with you.

    You have gotten ill my Love, you cannot walk anymore.
    I smile and I hide my sadness..
    You are my Love, and I will care for you.
    I will forever, my endless love is true.
    You are my Love, my soul, and my life.

    I cannot keep up with your needs Love.
    I feel like I am failing you.
    Today I put you in the hospital,
    something I never thought I'd do...

    This home of ours has your spirit,
    all around me I look, and all I see is you.
    This home of Love, I built for you.

    My Love, how can I face this empty home without you?
    I cry and I pray to this "God" of yours,
    "Take my life, and spare my Wife"...
    But, this "God" of yours doesn't answer me.

    Today I got the Phone Call...
    I never wanted to receive.
    Today I lost my best friend.
    Today I lost a part of me.
    How does this happen & why to you?
    Why didn't he take me & not you?

    I wander the rooms of our Home, I feel lost, and I feel so alone.
    You were a part of me, my Love, my Destiny.
    This home it holds your sweet scent,
    it reflects your love, and your charm.
    This home it now makes me feel incomplete.
    I still think I hear the sounds of your feet,
    slowly crossing the floor.
    My Love for you will last forever more.

    I must leave our home my Love.
    I know you aren't here anymore...
    This world without you was my biggest fear,
    yet I always feel your presence near.

    I close my eyes as I walk out our door..
    I see you, I feel you everywhere...
    My Love for you is still strong -stronger than death.
    I still embrace you in my heart, even death, won't tear us apart.

    Now all I do is wait for my day.
    When we can once again meet and play.
    Then never again will we part,
    and never again will I feel such deep pain in my heart.

    It’s been a few years since I shed my first grieving tears.
    I lay down on my bed with a picture of you
    I close my eyes and I feel your Love near,
    I feel your presence, I feel your warmth.
    I feel your hand slip into mine,
    I see you and I see light...
    I feel your love embrace me, warming my soul..

    My Love, I follow you, and I walk with you...
    to this world that's new...
    I know I am safe, because I am here with you.
    I feel my loneliness, my sadness disappear,
    our day to re-unite is finally here.

    My Love, my Heart,
    my Soul & my Life
    I am at peace now,
    because I am with you..

    **In memory of my Grandparents**

    I'll never forget all they did for me. I am who I am today because of them.

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