November 25, 2012

  • Trust issues..

    I have trust issues. I’m sure you've noticed..
    I don’t admit that, except on rare occasions..
    Opening up, sharing my "feelings" is dropping my guard.
    It's opening up, saying "here is my weakness" ..
    To trust, to open that door that points inward, is really hard to do!
    It is even harder to explain to someone who has never "been there" nor experienced similar experiences. 
    Those non-trusting instincts are there, always..

    Just beneath the surface, its there lurking.. its like a cartoon battle of good & evil characters on my shoulders,
    constantly arguing with each other.

    I’m pretty good at appearing to be trusting. A smile, a polite "yes, Thanks"
    I nod my head when people say they love me, or care about me, or will pray for me. I smile,
    and act like I trust they will.  But deep inside, in the quiet places I try to never go, or talk about,
    I doubt everything.. I doubt everyone.. I can't help it, it's there. Always.

    So, how do you get "over" trust issues?

    How do you learn to trust again? Just do it? Ignore the pessimistic dialog within?

    Or just keep pluggin' along, faking it till you make it?

     

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