As many of you know, I'm a poet at heart.. I wouldn't call this a poem, but I wrote it thinking of Carol today.. tears and all.. It wasn't meant to be from her point of view at first, but ended up that way.. Not sure if I like it though..

I spend my days, praying for a second chance
For a cure, for hope of that magic medicine
There are some days that I don’t feel so good
So tired at the end of the day, wanting to give up
I need a miracle, I need a cure.
Heavy tears seep from my eyes as I
Pray - I’ll find some peaceful sleep tonight
To one day be free from this disease

I’m so tired of this battle
Everywhere I turn, I am reminded
The woman in the mirror, is just a shell
Its not really me, I’m more, I’m so much more
Than just another face of Breast Cancer
I’m a woman, I’m a fighter, and I’m a survivor,
A Mother, A daughter, An Aunt,
A grandmother, A cousin, a friend
I’m more than just another face
A sad story, another statistic
I am so much more.

In a distant hospital room I lie
I’m so scared this will be the time
Cancer brought me to my knees

 I’m not ready, I don’t want to die
Tears seep from my eyes.
I’ll never admit how scared I am,
Nor how much I want to stay
God, I’ve tried, I’ve fought so hard
I’m so sorry hurting you this way
I’m so tired, tired of fighting this,
So weak, I just want to rest

I don’t want anymore pain, needles and tests
I don’t want to disappoint you, so
Please don’t be mad
Understand if you can,
Cancer has not won; it will never kill the Carol
You know and love, nor my spirit
I am still full of love and of hope.
I’ve done all I can, its now up to you

In the arms of the angels, I’ll fly
Away from this pain, and struggle

Rest in the arms of the angels
May you find comfort there.
We love you Carol.

1960-2009

Blessings & Hugs, ~Helena

Saying good-bye is not easy.. This has been a very very very tough week.. On Tuesday, Nov. 10th my sister in law, Carol lost her battle with Stage IV Metastatic Breast Cancer and is now with the Angels.. For 5 years she has fought a very hard fight against cancer, but ultimately cancer won. Now, all we can do is love her still, and strive to get the word out about Breast Cancer, early detection, and help find a cure. Breast cancer is not a personal illness (to me) it is a family one, because we were- and are ALL are affected by it.

Carol, you were truly a wonderful and unique woman
always giving of yourself freely to those in need.
Never asking for anything in return,
never saying "after what I did" and holding it over anyones head ..

I will forever cherish our friendship,
and deep bond, as deep as a sisters love
I will cherish our times of playing rummy
and laughing at Dan messing up & saying "cribbage!"
Sue getting upset at losing and Mark laughing at her..
Then, there's that bird of mine -
that scared the daylights out of you..
I bet in his way, he misses you too..

I will cherish our times of laughter,
and yes, even our serious moments and talks we shared.

I will miss our conversations,
laughs and tears shared....
I can hear you now saying
"Don't.. don't.. Don't do that! You'll make me cry!"
because you knew how I was with tears and open emotions..

May you rest comfortably in the arms of the angels, Carol.

Your spirit has been set free..

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Butterfly Lore 

•Since ancient times, the winged form of a butterfly was a symbol for the human soul.
•Egyptian – "the butterflies were presumably one of the pleasures that awaited the deceased in the afterlife, reflecting the Egyptian belief in the immortality of the human soul" [Manos-Jones].
•Greek and Minoan.
◦Aristotle gave the butterfly the name psyche , the Greek word for soul.
◦Many cultures relate butterflies to the human soul. In ancient Greek the word for butterfly is "psyche" which means "soul", and was also the name of Eros' human lover.
•Roman culture
◦Coins – butterfly as the symbol of the soul.
◦Cupid and Psyche
•Native Americans in Mexico .
◦Aztec – "associate the morning star with the butterfly, which represents the soul of the dead" [Manos-Jones].
◦The Aztecs also believed that the happy dead in the form of beautiful butterflies would visit their relatives to assure them that all was well. These butterflies flew around the house and around bouquets of flowers which were carried by Aztec men of social rank. It was considered ill-mannered to smell a bouquet of flowers from the top. It should always be sniffed from the side, for the top was left for the souls to visit, where they could enjoy the fragrance thus reserved especially for them [Native-Cherry].
◦Native South Americans also integrated various Lepidoptera into their mythologies. To the Goajiro of Columbia, if a particular large, white moth is found in a bedroom it must not be mistreated for it is the spirit of an ancestor come to visit. If the moth becomes troublesome, it can be removed only with the greatest care or the spirit may take vengeance. Among the Aymara of Bolivia, a certain rare nocturnal moth was thought to be an omen of death [Native-Cherry].
•Mexico - A small town in Mexico also sees butterflies as souls, and it is to that town that the monarch butterflies migrate every year on and around the holiday known as the Day of the Dead. They are seen as the returned souls of the deceased. [Coconut Creek].
•Russia - A form of the Russian language refers to butterflies as "dushichka" which is derived from "dusha", which means "soul".
•Andalusian Spain - "An heir must throw unmixed wine over the ashes of the deceased as a toast to the butterfly that will escape with the soul" [Manos-Jones].
•Germany - Butterflies are thought to be souls of children [Manos-Jones].

Sampling of Christian Symbolism

•"For Christians, the butterfly's three steps of metamorphosis -- as caterpillar, pupa and then winged insect -- are reminiscent of spiritual transformation"[khandro].
•The lowly caterpillar represents our earthly selves, our preoccupation with the physical plane of existence.
•The chrysalis represents the tomb, the place where the miraculous resurrection takes place, from which the sour rises.
•The beautiful, free-flying butterfly symbolizes Christ's spirit reborn.
•The butterfly exists in four distinct forms. Khandro explaines these four distinct forms.
◦The fertilized egg is planted in our mother's womb.
◦From our day of birth, we are like the caterpillar which can only eat and creep along.
◦At death, we are like the dormant pupa in its chrysalis.
◦After that, our consciousness emerges from the cast off body, and some see in this the emergence of the butterfly. Therefore, the butterfly is symbolic of rebirth after death.
•In images of the Garden of Eden, Adam's soul is symbolized by a butterfly, or drawn with butterfly wings. In paintings of Mary and her Child, the presence of butterflies stands for their care for human souls. The Gnosticsdepicted the Angel of Death by showing a winged foot stepping on a butterfly [khandro].

Irish – An Irish Blessing

May the wings of the butterfly kiss the sun, and find your shoulder to light on
To bring you luck, happiness and riches today, tomorrow and beyond [khandro].

Sampling of Irish Lore

•In the 1600s, in Ireland , killing a white butterfly was prohibited since it was believed to be the soul of a dead child [khandro].
•The dealan-dhe' is an Irish term which is used to refer to a butterfly, but also takes several other meanings. It is also the brightness or lightning of the Gods, or it may be used to refer to a burning stick that is shaken back and forth to create the need-fire [Bronach].
•The need-fire is often central to Irish thought. When a fire is created and burned for three nights upon a piece of land that land belong to the person who created that fire. This is the fire of the householder, which is also the fire of man. At Beltaine the household fire is rekindled in every hearth in Ireland from a central fire. Another reference between fire and butterflies can be seen within the term tiene-dhe' , with the usage of tiene meaning fire. This term refers both to the butterfly and to the fire of the Gods [Bronach].
•The significance of the butterfly in Irish folklore attributes it as the soul and thus it has the ability to cross into the Otherworld. It is also a symbol of transformation and creation [Bronach].
•Old Irish saying "Butterflies are s ouls of the dead waiting to pass through Purgatory" [ Coconut Creek].

Resources

Article/Lore Compiled by Sharon Peregrine Johnson

•Bonach, A. (1994). Butterflies in Irish folklore. Temple Terrace , Florida : House Shadow Drake http://www.traditionalwitchcraft.org/celtic/butterfly.html.
•Cherry, R. (1997). Native American mythology. cedigest , Fourth, http://www.insects.org/ced4/mythology.html.
•Khandro . (2005). The butterfly. http://www.khandro.net/animal_butterfly.htm.
•Manos-Jones, M. (2000). The spirit of butterflies: Myth, magic, and art. New York : Henry N. Abrams.
•Butterflies in mythology. (2004). Coconut Creek , Florida : City of Coconut Creek. http://www.creekgov.net/archives/000310.asp

For More Information ~ Breast Cancer

To learn more about breast cancer, please visit the National Cancer Institute web site http://www.nci.nih.gov/cancertopics/types/breast.

You also can find out more about breast cancer by contacting womenshealth.gov at
1-800-994-9662 or the following organizations:

National Cancer Institute
Cancer Information Service
Phone number: (800) 422-6237
Internet address: http://cis.nci.nih.gov

National Breast and Cervical Cancer Early Detection Program
Phone number: (888) 232-6348
Internet address: http://www.cdc.gov/cancer/nbccedp/index.htm

American Cancer Society
Phone number: (800) ACS-2345
Internet address: http://www.cancer.org

Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation
Phone number: (800) 465-6636
Internet address: http://www.komen.org

Breast Cancer Network of Strength
Phone number: (800) 221-2141
Internet address: http://www.networkofstrength.org

I love you Carol, enjoy your new set of wings...

Today I have a lot to share.. I just couldn't decide what I wanted to put on here, so, here it is.. A few different things for you to ponder.

Every once in a while, as most of my regular readers know, I post the 'stats' on the War in Iraq and Afghanistan. Unfortunately, it never gets easy.. I always end up looking through those faces of the soldiers who've given all. A lot of people have the attitude that its too sad, or its politics and they don't get into that, and some just don't because of reasons unknown.. others feel as though if they don't see it - they won't feel sad - and they won't feel helpless, like a lot of us do, including me.. Unfortunately, there is no quick fix, no happy ending, nor any do-overs. All we can do is not let them be forgotten, the ones serving, or the ones who have gave all. No matter how you feel about America, Politics, Soldiers, Iraq, Afghanistan - set that aside - and put yourself in their shoes, or their families shoes..  You'd never want to be forgotten and you certainly wouldn't want your loved one forgotten either... Light a candle, say a prayer, whatever your spirituality sees as right..

The stats (click on the Location, to go to the source at CNN where I got this information)

Iraq:
There have been 4,677 coalition deaths. This list also includes 13 U.S. Defense Department civilian employees. At least 31,545 U.S. troops have been wounded in action, according to the Pentagon.


Afghanistan:
There have been 1,491 coalition deaths. At least 4,399 U.S. personnel have been wounded in action, according to the Pentagon.

 

Taking Chance

If you haven't seen the move - "Taking Chance" you NEED to! This movie will move you and really *wow* you with emotion. I cried so much during this movie, and was really moved at the Respect and the lengths that our military goes to/through for our Fallen Soldiers. Until this movie, I never knew. 

What's the movie? It's based on a true story told from the experiences of Lieutenant Colonel Michael Strobl, USMC as written in his personal journal..

From the HBO Films site:

In April 2004, Lieutenant Colonel Michael Strobl, USMC, came across the name of 19-year-old Lance Corporal Chance Phelps, a young Marine who had been killed by hostile fire in Al Anbar Province, Iraq. Strobl, a Desert Storm veteran with 17 years of military service, requested that he be assigned for military escort duty to accompany Chance's remains to his family in Dubois, Wyo.

Witnessing the spontaneous outpouring of support and respect for the fallen Marine - from the groundskeepers he passed along the road to the cargo handlers at the airport - Strobl was moved to capture the experience in his personal journal, writing Taking Chance.

'Taking Chance' chronicles one of the silent, virtually unseen journeys that takes place every day across the country, bearing witness to the fallen and all those who, literally and figuratively, carry them home. A uniquely non-political film about the war in Iraq, the film pays tribute to all of the men and women who have given their lives in military service as well as their families.

To read more about the movie and see clips and pictures, etc. Click here for HBO Films Official site.

From the official Chance Phelps site, written in Strobl's personal journal :
Taking Chance
Chance Phelps was wearing his Saint Christopher medal when he was killed on Good Friday. Eight days later, I handed the medallion to his mother. I didn't know Chance before he died. Today, I miss him.

Over a year ago, I volunteered to escort the remains of Marines killed in Iraq should the need arise. The military provides a uniformed escort for all casualties to ensure they are delivered safely to the next of kin and are treated with dignity and respect along the way.

Thankfully, I hadn't been called on to be an escort since Operation Iraqi Freedom began. The first few weeks of April, however, had been a tough month for the Marines. On the Monday after Easter I was reviewing Department of Defense press releases when I saw that a Private First Class Chance Phelps was killed in action outside of Baghdad. The press release listed his hometown — the same town I'm from. I notified our Battalion adjutant and told him that,........ (to read the full thing, just click here to go to the Chance Phelps site.)

Other related links pertaining to this:

Chance Phelps bio on Wikipedia - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chance_Phelps
Strobl's Bio on Wikipedia - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Strobl
HBO Films, Taking Chance - online Info - http://www.hbo.com/films/takingchance/article/index.html
Chance Phelps Official Site Online - http://www.chancephelps.org/
Chance Phelps Listing on CNN Special Forces, casualties: http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2003/iraq/forces/casualties/page6.html

Helping Soldiers is as easy as getting your Hair Cut

Keep America’s heroes connected with their loved ones.

Although it began October 18, Sport Clips stores across the country are still collecting donations for VFW Operation Uplink™  the VFW program that provides free phone time to America’s service members and hospitalized veterans.

On Veterans Day, November 11, this major effort will culminate with “The Biggest Haircut Day of the Year.” On that day, the company will donate a dollar for every haircut given in its more than 600 stores. Show your support for troops and veterans by getting your next haircut at Sport Clips!!

Sport Clips hopes to raise $125,000 or more to provide thousands of minutes of free calls during the upcoming holiday season. This is the third year the company has undertaken a Veterans Day campaign. Their generosity—and that of their patrons—has already delivered more than three million minutes of talk time to America’s defenders.

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In closing, I just want to say THANK YOU to all the Military out there doing what you do so very well. I will ALWAYS respect you ALL and never forget what you or those before you have done. Thank you! I send out lots of hugs and blessings with my prayers for you daily.

For those of you who love the pictures - I just want to say -they aren't mine, nor are they copyrighted (that i know of) I did a search on photobucket.com and found them. So, feel free to save if you want to use them or pass them on If the links don't work, let me know so I can fix them!

G'night everyone...

I actually seen part of the news today and ended up almost crying.. I would have if I were alone. This is the most disgusting, terrorizing, unjustified, filthy, hate-crime I've heard of! I can't even put into words how much this upset me.. {story below} This poor child - yes, CHILD - is going to be traumatized for LIFE because of these assholes! But even worse, were the cowards and lower than shit onlookers, who did NOTHING to help her!! And it happened at a SCHOOL DANCE where there should have been some sort of supervision, parents, whatever there! How the hell did so many monsters get raised in a town like that? Are they all demented??

The story that has me just speechless.. well, ok, I can say a lot - but - I'd have to hide it because of the foul language I'd used to describe what I think and feel about those monsters. They can not be human. A shit in the toilet would get more respect out of me than they would. They need to rethink and CREATE a law in CA where onlookers, {who are just as GUILTY in my book} also get charged!!!! That is just beyond words...

Police: Gang rape outside school dance lasted over two hours
By Nick Valencia, CNN

(CNN) -- A California high school student who police said was gang raped in a two-and-a-half-hour assault outside a homecoming dance remained hospitalized in stable condition Monday, two days after she was flown from the attack scene in critical condition.

As of late Monday, two suspects had been arrested in the case and a third was being questioned.

"There is one individual in custody who has made some spontaneous statements that have led me to believe that he is culpable for what happened," Richmond police Lt. Johan Simon said.

Nineteen-year-old Manuel Ortega, described as a former student at the school, was arrested soon after he fled the scene and will face charges of rape, robbery and kidnapping, police said.

A 15-year-old was later arrested and charged with one count of felony sexual assault. A third teenager was being interviewed, according to Lt. Mark Gagan of the police department in Richmond, California.

"Based on witness statements and suspect statements, and also physical evidence, we know that she was raped by at least four suspects committing multiple sex acts," Gagan said.

Investigators said as many as 15 people, all males, stood around watching the assault, but did not call police or help the victim, a 15-year-old student at Richmond High School in suburban San Francisco.

"As people announced over time that this was going on, more people came to see, and some actually participated," Gagan said.

Authorities had interviewed the victim, and the search for other attackers and bystanders who watched and did not report the rape was in "full-court press," according to Gagan.

"We have checked Facebook and YouTube to try to find any revealing evidence," he said. "We're looking in particular to see if anyone posted any video of the incident."

Several other individuals were detained at the scene but not arrested, Simon said.

The attack occurred on school grounds as the annual homecoming dance was under way inside the school Saturday night, authorities said.

The victim was found unconscious and "brutally assaulted" under a bench shortly before midnight Saturday, after police received a call from someone in the area who had overheard people at the assault scene "reminiscing about the incident," Gagan said.

"She ended up with those guys under her own will because she knew one of the boys who had gone to the high school before," Gagan said. "Right now, we're looking at toxicology reports to determine her blood-alcohol content and to determine if she was drugged."

According to authorities, the victim was flown to an area hospital in critical condition. She was in stable condition Monday, police said.

"This just gets worse and worse the more you dig into it," Gagan said. "It was like a horror movie after looking at the evidence. I can't believe not one person felt compelled to help her."

Source: CNN

I think the last sentence sums it up.. about the way I feel - not ONE person had the balls to help her.

 

May the hammer of justice come down on their heads HEAVY and May they meet a mega-size *bubba* in prison and see how it feels. Better yet, they should just cut their damn penis off.

'nuff said

My prayers go out to this girl, and her family. May she recover fully and survive it mentally...

Blessings, ~Helena

 Ok, not the usual news, but news that will put a smile on your face, and not let you down  I laughed so hard reading this, its just crazy!

Windy Austrian fined

An Austrian man has been fined £45 for breaking wind while he was being questioned by police officers.

Police in Graz said the laughter of passers-by humiliated them, giving them grounds to book Hansi Sporer, 20, under local anti police abuse laws.

"This was no accident. He clearly intended to make a laughing stock out of the officers and deserved what he got," said one police source.

The Safety and Security Act allows police to issue instant fines to people who insult or attack them.

Lawyers for Sporer, from Frohnleiten, near Graz, argued that his outburst had been accidental.

"This was an abuse of a serious law intended to protect police officers from serious attacks by members of the public not some trivial incident. "In the end Mr Sporer decided it was easier and cheaper to pay the fine than it would be to fight it."

:: Article Source ::

I guess it's good that he didn't follow through with that 'threat' huh?

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In regards to my last posting, I suppose maybe I came across like a hot-head, and maybe even a little intolerant of others opinions... After a young, but very wise reader commented, and kinda pointed that out - not in those words though It certainly made me think.. Things that make you go "hmm" and realize you're being a bit of an ass. (or is it bitch in my case? ha ha)

So, I should state that no - I don't hate the man, nor do I hate anyone with an opinion different than mine. I could never be that close minded Do I get angry? Yes. Do I want to stomp and argue my point? Yeah. The way I am though, I'd want to ask him one simple question - "why?" What happened, or what has he seen, heard, or experienced, that makes him feel that strongly? Was it the way he was raised, or is it something he learned? We all have things that are taught us growing up, and things that we've learned while traveling along the path of life. Some of us change, and re-arrange our thoughts, others don't. I guess that's the joy of being 'free' huh?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Today went quick. I was exhausted though, I didn't sleep well last night. It was one of those nights where I had strange life-like dreams. All my life I have been like that - having dreams that are so life-like and so real, that it's like they actually happened. Complete with smells sometimes. Last nights dream just hasn't made any sense to me yet.. I'll be glad when and if I figure it out.

It was Grandparents Day at the School today, so my Mom got to spend a 1/2 day with my daughter. It's so neat that they do that. My Mom and my Daughter had a great time. She fell asleep in the living room on the couch, watching The Suite Life of Zack & Cody.. She looks so sad  those rosy little cheeks and her mouth open just a bit breathing so deep, sleeping like a little angel.. A long day for her, espessially since she wasn't feeling well. I hope she feels better in the morning. My Mom had to go to work - 2nd shift after it too, so I'm sure she will be exhausted when she gets home too..

Well, that's it for tonight.

Blessings & Hugs, ~Helena

 

 Meet Jayden, my adorable nephew, born to my neice who is white, and father who is African American.

Could you look at this adorable face and say "you shouldn't have been born to a white mother and an African American father?"

I sure the hell can't, wouldn't, and won't.

Yet Keith Bardwell, a Louisiana justice of the peace would. He's the jp that's been on the news for refusing to issue a marriage license to an interracial couple out of concern for any children the couple might have. WTF.

 "I'm not a racist. I just don't believe in mixing the races that way"

What the hell!? How can someone pass such judgement on others like that? Like he knows the future of an unborn child? Like he knows what will happen. Bull shit! Who is he to think that people of interracial relationships shouldn't have children? Who is he to choose who should be born?

I am normally a peaceful, loving person, but people like that give me flashes of bashing people in the face  
So just because of a few, ignorant, close-minded morons don't like the idea of interracial children, that means that no one should have interracial kids, ever? Bull shit. There are many interracial children that lead good, healthy, happy lives. Jayden is one of them.

Talk about being judgemental. Ignorant. Close-minded. Stupid. Racist... and the list goes on.

Source: Article about Justice of the Peace

I thought we (Americans) were all grown-up and educated now. Apparently, there are a few who still haven't been educated enough.

Saying a child shouldn't be born to interracial parents is like saying that a child shouldn't be born if they have a large birthmark, or some physical difference that makes them unique. I just can't believe that people are that judgemental and stupid!

Interracial couples - celebrities/famous ones: {some new, some older}

Seal & Heidi Klum
Halle Berry & Gabriel Aubry
Iman & David Bowie
Tiger Woods & Elin Nordegren
Eva Longoria & Tony Parker
Paula Patton & Robin Thicke
Kim Kardashian & Reggie Bush
Ice T & Coco
Robert Deniro & Grace Hightower
Cuba Gooding & Sara Gooding
Simon Cowell & Terri Seymour
Taye Diggs & Idina Mendel
Aisha Tyler & Jeff Tietjens
George Lucas & Mellody Hobson
Wolfgang Puck & Gelila Assefa
Roger Ebert & Chaz Hammelsmith
Ellen Pompeo & Chris Ivery
Garcelle Beauvais & Mike Nilon
Emma Bunton & Jade Jones

Blocked my last name out for privacy reasons

Love Freely & Be Loved.

Blessings, ~Helena

I'm here. I redesigned my site, what do ya think?

Has anyone missed me??
Just thought I'd say something, even if its just a line or two. I've missed my xanga friends! Perhaps I'll find time to chat/write a bit tomorrow, until then - take care!

Blessings, ~Helena

Dwelling in the Lotus Heart
By visualizing your heart as a lotus flower, you can begin to create a safe,
comfortable place for your mind to settle.

By Shiva Rea

In yoga and meditation, the heart can be visualized as a lotus flower unfolding at the center of the chest. Like a lotus that contracts and opens according to the light, our spiritual heart can be awakened through various yoga practices from asana practice to pranayama, chanting, and meditation.

The following meditation focuses the awareness on the seat of one's lotus heart. For some, this will be a very natural sanctum to rest the awareness. Others may observe that the restless nature of the mind does not subside so easily. This meditation serves two purposes: First, to learn to focus the mind on any object as an internal seat, and second, to receive the healing benefits of being connected to the heart as a place of unconditional love.

To begin, find a comfortable posture for meditation (seated on a cushion or blanket, in a chair, or against a wall). You may find it helpful to set a timer for 10, 20, or 30 minutes so you can deepen your meditation without wondering about the time. You may also want to gently ring a bell at the beginning and end of your meditation.

Place your hands on your knees in Jnana Mudra (index and thumb touching), with palms facing up to open your awareness or palms facing down to calm the mind. Scan your body and relax any tension. Let your spine rise from the base of the pelvis. Draw your chin slightly down and let the back of your neck lengthen. Now plant the seeds for meditating on the lotus of the heart.

Meditation Practice
Begin by quietly reading this passage from the Upanishads:
"Bright but hidden, the Self dwells in the heart.

Everything that moves, breathes, opens, and closes lives in the Self-the source of love.

Realize the Self hidden in the heart and cut asunder the knot of ignorance here and now."

The Upanishads (Translated by Eknath Easwaran, Nilgiri Press, 1987)
As you inhale, draw your awareness from the base of the pelvis to the center of the chest. As you exhale, concentrate on the sensations that you feel in your chest. Stay with those sensations and allow your awareness to deepen. Do you feel heat, tingling, lightness, density, tightness? As you inhale, breathe into your heart.

Begin to visualize a lotus flower inside your chest that is gently spreading its petals open with each inhalation. And as you exhale, just dwell inside the lotus flower.

(Note: If visualizing a lotus flower is too poetic for you, an alternative is to focus on a cave in the heart with a flame in the center, or a fire illuminating your heart.)

You may choose to stay with visualization of the lotus or you may focus on the sensation of an expanding heart. When feelings arise, allow them to pass through you like the changing light of the day, or imagine them resting on the flower like water on its petals. Dwell inside the lotus of your heart, feeling the qualities of unconditional love emerge.

When you are ready, bring your hands together in Anjali Mudra (Salutation Seal) and complete your meditation with a moment of gratitude, reflection, or prayer to integrate the energy of your meditation into your life. You can bring your awareness to your heart anytime throughout the day to come back to the seat of unconditional love.

*waves* hello everyone, I'm here again.. I know, I know, I'm not here as much as I used to be! Big hugs and a Thank you to Tommy Crow you are the only one that checked on me!  What would I do without ya? You are awesome sweetie! I'm doing well, I'm just quiet and contemplative...

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A New Approach -- Taking A Break From What You Are Doing

Sometimes we can get so wrapped up in our thoughts that we wind up going round in round in circles, finding it difficult to concentrate on things and, because we are so distracted, not really accomplishing much. There may be signals—mental, emotional, and physical—that tell us we need to slow down and relax. Since we are so involved in things that are external to us, however, we may easily overlook what is really going on inside of us. It is during these times that we need to step back from the things that occupy our minds and take time out to connect with our inner self, giving our minds, bodies, and spirits the time they need to reenergize and heal.

At first it may seem that by taking a break we may not be as productive as we would initially like. In reality, a healthy period of rest is something that gives us a real sense of the unlimited nature of our true potential. Spending a couple of minutes walking outside, doing a few yoga poses, meditating, or simply becoming attuned to the rising and falling of our breath enables us to let go of our worries. This act brings our focus back to the things that are truly essential for us, such as our sense of oneness with the universe and our inner peace and well-being. As we begin to get in touch with this part of ourselves, we will find that our usual everyday troubles and worries become less critical and that we not only have much more room in our lives to really reflect on the issues that mean the most to us, but we are also able bring to all the situations we encounter a much more positive and healthy outlook.

Giving ourselves respite from our daily concerns is like giving a gift to ourselves. By stepping away from the problems that seem to saturate our thoughts, we lessen the weight of our troubles and instead become more receptive to the wisdom and answers the universe has to offer us.

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The Power Of Disengagement -- Playing Mind Games

For better or worse, many people have been raised to believe that communicating in an honest and open way will not get them what they want. They have learned, instead, to play mind games or go on power trips in the service of their ego’s agenda. People stuck in this outmoded and inefficient style of communication can be trying at best and downright destructive at worst. We may get caught up in thinking we have to play the same games in order to defend ourselves, but that will only lead us deeper into confusion and conflict. The best way to handle people like this is to be clear and honest with them

As with all relationships and situations in our lives, we must look within for both the source of our difficulties and the solution. Reacting to the situation by getting upset will only entrench us more deeply in the undesirable relationship. Only by disengaging, becoming still, and going within can we begin to see what has hooked us into the mess in the first place. We will most likely find unprocessed emotions that we can finally fully feel and release into the stillness we find in meditation. The more we are able to do this, the less we will be bothered by the other person’s dramas and the more we will be free to respond in a new way. In the light of our new awareness, the situation will untangle itself and we will slowly break free.

Whenever people come into our lives, they have come for a reason, to show us something about ourselves that we have not been able to see. When unhealthy people try to hook us into their patterns with mind games and power trips, we can remind ourselves that we have something to learn here and that a part of us is calling out for healing. This takes the focus off the troubling individual and puts it back on us, giving us the opportunity to change the situation from the inside out.

Just because you cannot see something, does not mean it doesn't exist. There are people who deny the existence of angels, spirit guides, all types of unseen things, simply because they cannot see it. People tend to go through life as if blind folded - not just sight, but with a blind folded spirit.

"It all exists, even if its only in your mind" - a quote by John Lennon. Love that quote, and it rings so true.

We believe in the wind, we feel it, we enjoy it, we all know it exists, yet we don't see it.. I think over the years, people have lost touch with the unseen world, the world we live in is filled with computers, cell phones, so many electronics. We have lost touch with nature, with the basics of our existence, and the nurturing we need. We have lost touch with spirit. Whether you take 'spirit' to mean spirituality or religion, your choice. Either will do.

People seemed to have lost touch with each other too. Basic human touch, comfort and love.. seems to have taken a back seat. Once a persons word actually meant something - now it's only used for personal gain. Once a business meant something, and it contributed to the community - without - concern about personal gain, the 'ole what will *we get* from this. Same with Seniority at the workplace, and job performance.. doesn't mean shit anymore.. It's not accuracy & fairness in the workplace, its screw the ones who stand up for themselves, or those who don't fit into the clique.. *sigh* Pretty damn pathetic, isn't it?

There is so much that people tell you, without even saying a word. What they say speaks loudly, but not in a voice you hear. By being observant of others, staying in the moment (slow down and 'be') you will be amazed at what you find out, and what you will know about others.  Sometimes a blessing, sometimes a curse. I've always had the knack {for lack of a better term} to sense others feelings. Being able to tell their mood, simply by being near them. Some just radiate their feelings so strongly, it yells at you from a distance. Perhaps that is why I have always been able to blend well, and get along well with even the toughest of people.

When you wander through your life, so focused on what you want, and how you will lie, cheat or steal to get it - you will miss out on all the good, the blessings right in front of you and all around you. Sucks to be on top in that way, doesn't it? A lonely place to be when you cannot trust a single soul around you -- behind you they stand, knife in hand, ready to stab you in the back at 1st chance..{paybacks a bitch they say} 

**The world is a mirror, and what you project is what you reflect and get in return**

It's the unique that stand out, not the ones that blend in with the crowd.
Don't let the world pass you by, don't become a dormant, unobservant person.
Stay in the moment.
Look at the world around you through the eyes of a child,
everything and everyone is beautiful.

Gosh, I can't tell you how relaxing it has been not having to work.. this is actually kinda nice..

Well, I'm finally settled in here ~again~ at xanga. I think I like the new look. I'm never satisfied with it *sigh* I'm a perfectionist to a fault sometimes. Tell me, please, which background do you prefer for the 2nd? I thought the dolphins (because I love them!) but not sure it blends well. So, I put the other two choices on the sides here. Which do you think blends best? I'm leaning towards the left one, but don't want it to be too plain (as in one color for the page). Thoughts?

I uploaded a bunch of graphics that I've doodled with over the last week. Please, feel free to use them on your site if you'd like. Or, if you have a favorite picture you'd like made into a background or graphic, let me know, I'd be happy to do one for you

I am now open to the public and have removed the xanga & friends lock. Crossing fingers. lol It took me a while to figure out how to remove people from my subscriptions list {the ones subscribed to me} come to find out, you have to block them to remove them, then turn around and unblock them afterwords. *sigh* So, that's done now too. I'm down to the 9 trusted people I know now.

Leonidas ~ I've missed your spirited debates and heart-felt postings, and look forward to them again.  Did I mention how adorable and cute you look in that new photo? {{{warm hugs}}}

Judy ~ We've known each other quite some time now, and I look forward to some of your peaceful ways rubbing off on me

Broken heart of stone ~ you are wonderful, what else can I say? {{hugs}}

Zeal for living ~ I enjoy your postings, and always look forward to the card readings and the different interpretations you post.. you inspire me

Everyone else, don't worry, I missed you too.. I just can't think of everyone's names this late lol

Take care & Blessings, G' Night....

Let's see... where oh where do I begin, hmm?

First, I'll ask - what do you think of the new look/layout? Does it load and look ok? I had one hell of a time working with the themes function. grrr. Got me pissed a few times (ok more than a few). Due to the s-l-o-w dial up I have and some kind of stupid errors I kept getting! But, after over an hour - yes, no typo there - over an hour. I finally got it done. At least for now. I'm always changing things around

I am now freshly unemployed. Downsized. Laid-off. "Let go". Stomped on. Shit on. However you'd like to fluff it up lol. There's a story to it - but I'm going to put it under protected posting for now, until a later time.

Good news is, it has given me much needed time and rest that I haven't gotten in a long time. That place I worked has the worst curse and karma with it.. so much so, if it were visual, you'd only see 6 feet of shit over the top of it lol

My oldest son graduated this year. I cried tears of sadness and of pride. I couldn't have asked for a more awesome son He makes me so proud. My 2nd oldest just finished the 9th grade, and my daughter, my youngest just completed the 5th grade. Know what? It's making me face the fact that I'm getting old *yikes*

My sister-in-law, has been battling breast cancer for a couple of years now, as many of my regular readers know. She is doing ok. Well, actually, I'm not too sure. She was just placed in the hospital again due to fluid around and in her lungs. It tested positive for cancerous cells. What that means, I'm not really sure. They placed a 'thing' {can't remember the term for it} in her chest, to make drainage easier. So, apparently they figure it's not a one time thing. This is the second time in the last month she's been hospitalized for it. *sigh* Doesn't sound good.

As far as me and my hubby go... well, for now it's just the 'status quo' same ole, same ole. I'll put more of that under protected too.

Online, well, I haven't been doing a whole hell of a lot. I have honestly just been enjoying my time to catch up on things I've been putting off due to *cough* *cough* work.

I have honestly missed you all. You're all so unique and wonderful, {for the men} cute too!

I'll post more here and there throughout the day... just to catch you all up. I have a lot to tell you!

Blessings, Love & Hugs, ~Helena