May 6, 2011

  • Sweet, yet bitter emotions..

    love where are you now
    have you abandoned me
    love, come to me, be with me here, now
    I ache for your sweet embrace, your touch, your love

    thoughts
    so long have I wandered, alone
    daydreamed, slept alone, loved alone
    oh to feel love’s touch, love’s embrace
    soothing, healing, mending release
    do tell me, whence comes my peace..


    Sometimes I get so tired of being alone... solitude when it comes to matters of connections is quite difficult.. Tends to make you feel as though you are just a reflection, a strand in the web that's invisible, never seen, never noticed. Which in turn makes you feel unworthy, lonely, undesirable, and question your self-worth.. Being loved isn't always enough, sometimes to know it - is to *feel* it..

    'nuff said for tonight. Perhaps too much.. Rambling thoughts..

    G'night my sweet xanga friends, g'night & sweet dreams..

     

May 5, 2011

  • Fear, obedience, rulers..

    If the feudal world had to be summed up in just three words, they would be strong, stronger, strongest. Obedience was extracted not by a pledge, or trust, or loyalty, but as the result of raw fear of the punishment that disobedience could bring. To tell a noble that you were not afraid of him was a personal insult and frequently led to a challenge. Fear was the fountainhead of government control throughout the world. Rulers wanted to be feared, not loved.

    -John J. Robinson, Dungeon, Fire, and Sword, p. 33


    Yes, my xanga friends, I am clawing my way back to some normality.. :) Hopefully you are still around!
    I look forward to catching up on all I've missed. Nice to be back!

    Blessings & love, ~me~

October 20, 2010

  • still here, well, sort of

    Short, not-so-sweet & to the point..

    I've been going through the motions of life, but I'm not really living..

    I so desperately want to be the center of someones world ... but I'm the center of none.

    I ache to be pampered, loved deep, even if its just for a day .. just to feel alive again..

    Like shattering glass upon the frozen ground...therein lies my dreams..

August 24, 2010

  • Yup, the Mosque debate

    By far, this is the best article and one I agree with ~ it has many valid points.

    Thought I'd share & see what the xanga community thinks..

    (I left all links intact from the site, so be forewarned that they will take you off the xanga site - unless you right click and choose "open in new window - or - open in new tab)

    Pagans and Park51

    Whether the controversy was manufactured or not, the United States has been drawn into what seems an increasingly bitter and divisive public debate over the proposed Park51 Islamic community center and mosque in New York, dubbed the “ground zero mosque” by the media and various activists due to its proximity (2 blocks) to where the World Trade Center once stood. Modern Pagans, both in New York and outside it, have taken a keen interest in this situation as it has progressed. There seems to be a sense that, despite the theological and social differences that may exist, religious minorities are looking to see how this resolves itself, and what the ultimate message of the conflict and eventual resolution may be. To some, like Pagan chaplain Patrick McCollum, speaking to the Associated Press, the fact that we are having this public debate and uproar is in itself a positive sign.

    “I think that the intolerance that we’re experiencing right now is that for the first time in a long period of time, since almost the founding of our country, we’ve actually begun to ALLOW pluralism to surface in our country. So we’ve started to uphold the ideals that our country was founded on … and the people who’ve been in the dominant position begin to feel like they’re under attack.”

    For noted Pagan and activist Peter Dybing, this controversy, if ultimately successful in blocking or moving the proposed center, could have long-lasting repercussions for all religious minorities in America. That our own experiences with intolerance and misinformation should make us see that we risk much by not supporting their right to worship when and where they want to. That just as some Christians, Jews, and Muslims supported our inclusion in the interfaith movement, and in efforts like the Veteran Pentacle Quest, even if it wasn’t popular or politic to do so, so too should we make common cause here and defend them from the ongoing hostility and distortions being peddled around this issue.

    “So why should the Neo Pagan community become involved in defending the rights of a belief system that holds views so foreign to our earth based community? Islam, an incredibly diverse group of faiths, is faced with being branded as intolerant and violent due to the actions of radical fringe groups. We in the Pagan community have experienced attempts to paint us all with the same brush when individuals who claim to be Pagan commit violent acts. Recent events in New Mexico and Australia make this clear. To stand by and allow these forms of attack encourages those who believe that our country should not be tolerant of a diversity of beliefs. If we do not stand in support of inclusion and respect we risk our own fight for Pagan rights through our lack of action.”

    However, not all Pagans feel as Dybing does, openly Pagan New York City Councilman Dan Halloran, speaking at a recent Coalition to Honor Ground Zero rally, noted that Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf, who is behind the plans to build Park51, should have a greater sensitivity to those affected by the 9/11 terrorist attack.

    Speaker after speaker testified to the importance of the Ground Zero site to Americans. “If we want a nation of peace,” said city councilman Dan Halloran, whose cousin died on 9/11, “then peace comes with understanding. And they need to understand that this is sacred ground to New Yorkers.”

    Sacred and hallowed are words that are being used quite a bit in this debate, implying that any new Islamic-oriented construction would be a desecration, even though there were several Muslim victims of the 9/11 attack. Indeed, there are splits between the 9/11 families over this question, leading to the unfortunate omission of narratives that don’t fit within the frame of different advocacy groups. Further, some New Yorkers, including New York Pagan K.W., who personally witnessed the destruction of the WTC towers, reject the idea that the ground around the site is “hallowed” altogether.

    “Just to put the “hallowed ground” arguments into some perspective here are some of the things I have to walk by every Wednesday in order to get to the WTC site. All are either within a 3 block radius or right across: Numerous falafel stands, Sephora, Century 21, Men’s Warehouse, numerous phone stores, Starbucks, a Church, a strip club and a really good French restaurant. If the site is such hallowed ground why are these establishments allowed to co-exist yet an Islamic Center is not?”

    As things have gotten more tense, with protests and counter-protests being organized, some willfully provocative, it has gotten hard to separate the light from the heat on the proposed community center and mosque. Anti-mosque groups have gained unlikely allies, and even one of the most famous families within the Tea Party movement is divided. According to Peg Aloi, Witchvox contributor and Media Coordinator, this battle isn’t really about religious rights, or even politics, but about fear.

    “I don’t think this issue is about religion. I don’t even think it’s about politics. I think it’s about ignorance and fear. People are woefully uninformed or misinformed about so many things that they then feel entitled to denigrate or condemn. And they are fearful, and perhaps rightfully so. We live in a violent, selfish society in which everyone lives mostly for themselves, and people feel they need to act to preserve their own little piece of the world. We need to learn to co-exist. We need to try and understand how to think with clarity and logic, so we can understand simple concepts such as the following: Some terrorists are Muslims; this does not mean all Muslims are terrorists, any more than the actions of Timothy McVeigh make all Christians terrorists. We need to open our eyes and ears and learn to distinguish between facts and assumptions. If we don’t start behaving like intelligent, rational, compassionate human beings, we’re doomed.”

    As Diane Vera of New Yorkers Against Religion-Based Bigotry puts it, “if even Muslims can be singled out for this kind of harassment, then surely the rights of other, smaller religious minorities are in even greater danger.” No matter where we as individuals stand concerning this community center and mosque in New York, we need to guard against healthy debate leading to violence, harassment, or attempts at misguided lawmaking. As we approach the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, feelings and rhetoric may become even more intense, and we may run the risk of collectively empowering the very demagogues who have little care for the rights of any religious minority. We should stand guard against the campaign against this community center and mosque becoming a larger campaign against any mosque, anywhere. Not only for the sake of American Muslims, but for the sake of the rights of all religious groups in our country.

    Modern Paganism is an incredibly diverse religious movement that numbers individuals on both sides of this debate, but I hope we can all acknowledge that secular law, at the end of the day, should trump whatever our personal feelings are. I also hope our community can listen to the concerns from both sides of this issue and find the space to grow from the experience. I encourage comment and debate on this issue here, but wish to remind you of our comment policy, and urge everyone to remain civil. Let’s bring more light, rather than heat, to this discussion.

August 13, 2010

August 11, 2010

  • Update... or "fyi"

    I've given it some thought over the last week, and I've decided to redo my xanga site.

    For now on, *all* my passionate - erotica writings are going to be under protected entries.
    For those of you unfamiliar with that term, this means that you will have to:

  • Be a Member (free) of Xanga.
  • Let me know who you are (how I know you)
  • I will then add you to the list.
  • If you don't do all that - you won't be able to view my writings!
  • So, why am I doing this? I want to be *positive* that only 18+ are reading them. I just don't want to take any chances. I hope you understand. For those of you who are not xanga members, I apologize, but wouldn't you do the same? Its free to join, and it isn't hard to keep up with at all ~ it's actually quite easy to navigate!

    By the way, if you are friends with me on facebook, you can read my RSS feed from there by joining/subscribing.

    Only other thing I thought of was just to build a new blog on Blogger or something and have them there exclusively, without the personal entries like here & then put it under the 18 & older "warning" type of site.

    Thoughts?

     

August 5, 2010

  • Frustration and rude people..

    viking
    Painting by the talented William Whitaker - click his name to view his site.

    It's amazing and almost eerie how much that picture resembles me. Ever wonder if the saying is true that somewhere in the world, we each have a twin?

    Well its back to work I go on Monday.. Wish me luck :) Can't believe I'm going to be waitressing again. I haven't done that in years! Hopefully I'll make good tips at it, can you believe they still only pay $2.13/hr for it? Sheesh.. I thought it'd gone up since the last time I waitressed! When you need money, you'll do anything.. hell, I'd even shovel shit at a barnyard if I had to LOL There's an image you won't want in your head!

    So I go from happy & relieved that I'm going to work again, and was lucky enough to *finally* get a job after months of looking and getting nothing.. Load up the kids, take Rachel (my youngest) to the School for her 7th Grade orientation, we sweat our asses off cause its hot in there.. Get ready to leave, damn van won't start! I am so tired of that damn thing doing that to me and leaving me stranded!! Kids are pissed, I'm upset and feeling dumb cause I don't know a damn thing about vehicles or how to get them motivated to MOVE. So, hot, tired, and frustrated with 3 kids that are all acting like its the end of the world, and we've been there for days. Fun. But, oh no bad-luck-ass says its not enough for it to do that, oh nooo, maybe the key should bust off too! Yup, right in the ignition, the key comes out, but not whole, 3/4ths of it is left behind! The look on my sons face - because he was the one trying it while I was standing by the hood was priceless. So it wasn't enough it wouldn't start, now there's no way to even try it!! So that means trying to figure out how the hell we are going to get it out of the parking lot of the school & back home - and then how to get the money to fix it! Grrrrr... Sitting there in the hot summer sun, I realized something.. People can be rude and ignorant! All these parents, staff and kids are roaming the parking lot, walking by, looking, and not one of them offers help - or even acknowledges us! Although I didn't need help, I was left thinking, what if I did? What if I didn't own a cell phone, or had no one to call? Just struck me as terrible how self-centered people can be! But, for the record, my daughters friend came by with her Dad, who is a police officer & a damn good one He had the decency to ask if I needed anything, and other various questions about what was wrong with it - in which I had to act like an idiot & say "I dunno" umm, well, not sure and stuff. lol And then he told me to call if I did need anything. That's how people *should be*.

    So much for a good day.. Ending the day frustrated and tired... Hey, thanks for listening.. ((hugs))

    So here's something 'good' to read:

    2myhand
    (my hand again..call me goofy, but I like this pic)

    We are surrounded by a loving and supportive universe. Everywhere we look there is guidance and assistance being offered us. Its strange that we can be so supported yet feel so alone. Perhaps it is only that we have taught ourselves to close our ears, eyes and minds to the greater realm of life around us. There are many sources for this guidance among them are angels, animal guides, friends and family who have passed over, spirit guides, etc. Strive to touch that which you cannot see, touch the unseen world around you.

    G'night everyone.. sweet dreams..

August 4, 2010

  • I Censor..do you?

    From xanga's  Featured Questions;
    Do you ever censor what you blog about for any reason? What particular topics do you censor?


    I tend to censor quite a bit on my blog here at xanga. Some is due to the fact its too personal for public viewing, and others is because I just don't want to air my dirty laundry in public.  Those "I've got to bitch today" ones lol. I love to write what I call passionate poetry, and sometimes its what I consider to be too sexual in nature for just the average person to view. I pour a lot of my heart and soul into what I write. I wouldn't want it viewed by young viewers, and I wouldn't want someone to copy it or for someone to take it the wrong way.. Easier to just put it under "protected" and choose who views it!

    For any newbies to xanga, in order to view my protected entries, you must be a xanga user, and then let me know who you are, how I know you (like facebook, etc) then I will add you to my list. Simple as that :) Plus, when you are a xanga user, you can subscribe to me and get my posts in your email :)

     

    You can answer it and post on your blog by clicking "answer it"

August 2, 2010

  • Seven Teachings, a poem & more

     w51090055

    "Behold, brightest of the stars, hear my voice!"
     
    "Mist-clad in moon light
    Stardust seekers, secret keepers
    I call upon thee.
    From branch and thorn and Elder tree
    Wood loving creatures, shadow weavers
    Come to me.
    Just beyond reaching and never in keeping
    Timeless wonders, magickal Fae
    I call and summon thee.
    Wind-hewn wildness, darkness and brightness
    Abide with me, as friend."

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    (Shared by a friend, not sure of the source, but I sure do like them!)

    The Seven Teachings


    Honesty ~ Humility ~ Truth ~ Wisdom ~ Love ~ Respect ~ Bravery


    Honesty - to achieve honesty within yourself to recognize who and what you are do this and you can be honest with all others

    Humility - humble yourself and recognize that no matter how much you think you know, you know very little of all the universe.

    Truth - to learn truth, to live with truth and to walk with truth, to speak truth

    Wisdom - to have wisdom is to know the difference between good and bad and to know the result of your actions

    Love - unconditional love to know that when people are weak they need your love the most, that your love is given freely and you cannot put conditions on it or your love is not true

    Respect - respect others, their beliefs and respect yourself. If you cannot show respect you cannot expect respect to be given

    Bravery - to be brave is to do something right even if you know it's going to hurt you.

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    Landscape 0473

    Not a lot to share with my average life *grin* But the rhyme above, and the 7 teachings are great to share. Its so stinkin' hot here, we have no air conditioning, and I feel like the heat wave is never going to end! I am looking forward to my favorite *perfect* time of year ~autumn~ when I feel more alive and more like doing lots of things outside :) Too damn hot in the summer to truly enjoy myself outside. I'm not built to take the heat too well. Give me a cool spring or autumn day and I'm happy :) Besides, the beautiful picture perfect images nature provides us with in the fall is just breathtaking. I love the many colors of the leaves, the whisper of the cool winds, the cooler nights (great for cuddling and making love)... I cant wait.

    G'night everyone & Sweet Dreams

July 18, 2010

  • Strange things

     I've had a long day.. So this is going to be a "short and sweet" posting for tonight.

    Here's 3 things you didn't know about me:

    1. I was once stuck in an elevator at 6 months pregnant. Talk about panic!!

    2. I was once dangled over a bridge by just a man holding my ankle and since then have been afraid of heights!!

    3. I was once hit in the nose with a baseball bat *ouch* Never knew you could hear your nose break like a loud dull pop like it was happening inside your head lol.

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    cellph

    I have started an online Petition, and I'd love for you to have a look and maybe even sign it. It's a petition to make it National to Ban the texting while driving. To make it illegal to talk or text without a hands free device. I really think it should be National and not just a state here and there. It's really gotten out of hand. Pisses me off just about everytime I see some dumb ass do a "smooth move" and almost get him or herself killed - the person is yackin' away on a damn cell phone. You'd think it would be common sense *not* to do that - guess a lot of people lack in theat department lol.

    While researching the statistics for it, I realized what an "epidemic" it is - think Drinking & Driving is bad and causes the majority of accidents and deaths in the US? Think again!

    NSC estimates that 1.4 million crashes each year are caused by drivers using cell phones and a minimum of 200,000 additional crashes each year are caused by drivers who are texting.  http://www.nsc.org/
    That’s 5.5 times more crashes than reported alcohol-related accidents.  http://www.nhtsa.dot.gov/  

    So, if you agree come sign the petition at: http://www.petitiononline.com/050710TC

July 8, 2010

  • Hush my wandering thoughts

    Today I share with you a little something I wrote this morning.. not sure I'm happy with it. I hope you enjoy the reflection of 'me' within it..

    Hush my wandering thoughts and images that appear

    w207596204

    love where are you now
    have you abandoned me
    love, come to me, be with me here, now
    I ache for your sweet embrace, your touch, your love

    thoughts
    so long have I wandered, alone
    daydreamed, slept alone, loved alone
    oh to feel love’s touch, love’s embrace
    soothing, healing, mending release
    do tell me, whence comes my peace

    eyes wide open gazing into yours
    love touch me how only you can
    softly tenderly…caress my wounded soul
    soft as petals of a rose my skin beneath your fingertips
    will you respect me, will you quench my burning desire
    0014
    I have yet to experience loves true form, the beauty, the rhythm
    slight of hand you touch my cheek
    fingertips outline the curves of my lips
    with ice you soothe my heated flame
    goose bumps give way to passion rising
    as you slide the ice cube so delicately
    down my neck to the curves of my breasts
    mouth open, gasping in cooling bliss
    shy and nervous, curious and yearning
    lips meeting, pressing open mouths and twirling tongues
    you calm my nervous beating heart
    brushing the hair back to meet my gaze
    delicate and innocent I watch you intensely
    as you slide the ice over my breasts
    watching as waves of cool water gently drip from
    my hardened nipples
    sliding over my belly the essence of life
    my stomach pulls in with a deep breath of both pleasure and cooling pain 
    you stop just shy of the skirt that so gently rests on my hips
    looking eye to eye again
    searching to know, to be approved
    as if begging for sweet release my eyes relax
    my head leans back a bit .. pleassee..
    in a gentle cooing sound, you lull me with
    gentle placed kisses across my skin
    so gentle and tenderly you glide your hands
    along my waist, then behind, firmly pressing
    your palms against my exposed lower back
    pulling me closer to you I can feel your grown excitement
    so divine so erect in anticipation
    I crave to feel our mutual passion combine
    sweet ecstasy, oh blessed release
    kiss me love, with heated desire
    55559990c1
    sliding my skirt of my hips
    letting it fall to the floor
    taking the small bit of ice and gliding it
    along my neck again.. the pulse of my heart racing
    as you follow the flow of cool melted cube
    downward over my cheek, my lips, my chin
    over my breasts, my stomach to
    the very essence of my sexuality
    come to me love - be with me,  here with me now
    so we may ride the waves of orgasmic bliss
    exploring, pushing limits, peaking climax
    to the height of ecstasy .. I beg of thee
    come to me
     
    07082010

July 7, 2010

  • Music

    I've had this song stuck in my head all day.... LOVE the song - the beat is great.. makes you want to move :) The video is ok, not the best though.